


They/Them

by Ttttrickster (iscatterthemintimeandspace)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dead name usage, Gabriel is a good brother, Gen, Lucifer uses they/them pronouns, Trans! Lucifer, Transphobia, human! au, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-16 00:24:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16943526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iscatterthemintimeandspace/pseuds/Ttttrickster
Summary: Lucifer Novak looked in the mirror and felt like they were going to vomit.





	They/Them

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alekstraordinary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alekstraordinary/gifts).



> To my wonderful friend Aleks, Love you friend <3

Lucifer Novak looked in the mirror and felt like they were going to vomit. 

 

They could still hear the name on Mr. Walker’s lips, a reminder of what the world refused to acknowledge. 

 

The reflection they saw in the mirror wasn’t really them, not who they were inside anyway, not who they’d always known they were. Even though Lucifer had been transitioning for awhile now, there were some days the dysphoria still hit them like a ton of bricks. They wanted to scream at the mirror, to claw off their own skin and find the person that they were underneath the skin they’d been cursed with. Their eyes strayed downward, stopping at their chest. 

 

Lucifer hated their chest, it was always just a reminder of that body they’d been born into, and not the one they wanted. They pressed their hands against their chest, pushing everything that was there where it felt like it was supposed to be instead of where it was. 

 

They wore a binder when they could, but sometimes it was painful and they needed to breathe. That’s what had happened today, but it wasn’t the thing that had set them off. 

 

They’d gone to work, as they did normally, at the coffee shop down the street. Their binder was drying, so they’d had worn multiple undershirts to try and press down their chest.  It wasn’t as good as the binder but it would have to do. 

 

They put on their apron, with their name tag that said “Lucifer”, the name they had chosen to replace the name their parents had given them. They stuck their “they/them” pins on the apron string and went out to open the cafe. 

 

They’d never had a problem before. They barely paid attention to them, they almost never read the name tag, and a couple people had smiled when they saw Lucifer’s pin. 

 

Lucifer hadn’t seen Mr. Walker since before they transitioned. He had moved in with his son after he’d retired from teaching and moved south. Even though he hadn’t outright been rude to them, Mr.Walker had always insisted on calling Lucifer by their dead name, instead of the name Lucifer asked everyone to use. 

 

Lucifer felt sick as Mr. Walker stepped up to order his coffee. His face broke into a smile as a look of recognition crossed his old wrinkled face. 

 

“Lucy-Anne,” he smiled, leaning slightly across the counter and into Lucifer’s personal space. “It’s so good to see you,” 

 

Lucifer’s mouth was so dry they could barely speak. “I-It’s Lucifer now, Mr. Walker… just like in -” 

 

“You kids and your nicknames,” Mr. Walker responded. “Your parents gave you a pretty name, that’s the one I’ll use.” he insisted, and Lucifer felt like the small child they’d been when they first stepped into Mr. Walker’s class again. “How are your brothers?” 

 

Lucifer swallowed, hands trembling, and they gripped them on the counter to stop them from shaking. “They’re good. W-what can I get you?” 

 

“One black coffee please, Lucy-Anne,” he said, making sure he looked into Lucifer’s eyes as they said their dead name again. 

 

By the time Mr. Walker left the cafe, Lucifer was so sick they asked Bobby if they could go home. Luckily, Bobby said that they could, and Lucifer hurried home, feeling cold and clammy the entire way. 

 

Lucifer tore their eyes away from the face in the mirror, and crawled into their bed, holding their chest tightly as they fell into an uneasy sleep. 

 

They were awakened a couple hours later by a warm body slipping into bed next to them. Lucifer rolled over, only to be engulfed in their brother Gabriel’s candy sweet smell. Gabriel’s arms wrapped around Lucifer, holding them tight to his chest. 

 

“Shhhhh,” he comforted, rubbing warm circles on Lucifer’s back. “Bobby told me what happened,” 

 

Lucifer didn’t speak, just buried their head against their brother’s chest. 

 

“Fuck Mr. Walker,” Gabriel said loudly. “He wouldn’t know a man if one hit him in the face. Blind as a fucking bat, old gnarly bastard,” he continued. “You’re my brother, Luc, you always have been. Just as much as a boy as me, hell you’re more of a boy than me.” 

 

He kissed Lucifer on the forehead, pulling the blanket down so he could see Lucifer’s face. 

 

Lucifer took a deep breath, feeling for the first time since they’d left the coffee shop, that they could breathe again. 

 

“You’re a good brother, Gabe,” Lucifer said, smiling at him. 

 

“So are you.” 


End file.
